329 Life Update, My 90 Year Old Friend Clarence, IRL Meetups are THE BEST (Solo Show)
The most profound lessons come from unexpected sources.
Welcome back to another SOLO episode of Visionary Life!
Today, I am bringing you an unscripted update straight from the heart.
I talk about:
A personal update on the ongoing adventure in motherhood while running a business, and trying to fit it all in (and my thoughts on returning to work part-time post-childbirth and managing work-life balance)
Conversations with a 90-year-old man named Clarence and the life lessons derived.
Recap of a recent IRL meetup that I hosted with 12 small business owners
The mom brain moment that I had in the grocery store
And other reflections in my life’s current joys and challenges.
Episode Time Stamps:
[00:00] Reflection as a new mama as of four-month old son.
[06:08] Gained confidence in speaking up for self
[09:28] How juggling responsibilities leads to occasional forgetfulness.
[15:53] Hosting of a Mastermind for Driven Female Entrepreneurs to Connect
[17:11] Initial reluctance transformed into powerful, uplifting event
[20:09] The power of meetups with good vibes and cool venues.
[23:13] As a new mother I sometimes struggle to slow down and connect
To connect with Kelsey:
Access the transcript for this episode:
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Hey, visionaries. Welcome back to the show. This is one of those episodes where there is zero plan, pretty much zero plan, we'll say. And I just want to get on the mic, chat with you guys, and let you in on what's been going on behind the scenes. These are my favorite episodes to listen to as a podcast listener. I love when people just riff and it's kind of less of like the interviewer interviewee format and more of like, this is the real talk between me and my besties, or this is a solo app where I'm just going to fill you in on what's been happening behind the scenes. And that's where we're going to go today. So if that interests you, here we are.
And I was just chatting with my neighbor, actually, and he's actually going through some house renovations, and we were talking about a door that they had put into their basement. And he's like, you know what? It's not perfect. It's not the door that we want there long term. But he's like, perfection is not the goal. And I thought, you know what? That's a great reminder for me right now. But also in this season of life, it's like, get the door in, and then if you want to seal it better down the line, if you want to upgrade to something that's a little prettier down the line, then you can do that. But to get the foundation in, to just get a door in the doorframe is super important. And again, perfection is not the goal.
So here. Here I am, showing up very imperfectly. You know, I've talked to you guys so many times about how I would love to be a youtuber. I love watching YouTube. I probably follow, like, four or five channels pretty closely. When I have 30 minutes to myself in the evenings, if I'm laying in bed and Dave's doing something else, I do love to flip open my laptop and catch up on YouTube. That's my version of tv, because I'm not a huge tv or movie watcher. Fun fact about me, actually, it's like the most embarrassing fact, especially if you love movies.
But I've probably watched about five full movies in my entire lifetime. I've never been able to sit down and concentrate long enough or enjoyed sitting still. And my mom always told me I had ants in my pants. And case in point, if a tv show is longer than 30 minutes, and if a movie comes out and it's longer than 30 minutes, which they all are, I'm just. I can't do it. I get so bored. My mind goes in a million different places, and I don't know what that tendency is. I wish I could sit down and enjoy movie theater, but I would rather just sleep or go do the dishes or something.
Oh, gosh. Anyways, my brain. Speaking of my brain, obviously you guys know I became a mama four months ago. Actually, my son Freddie is four months old today because it's April 25 at the time of recording this, and he was born on December 25. So officially, four months, officially one third into his first year of life, which is absolutely wild. And I feel so lucky because he's been such an amazing baby, such a great sleep, great eater. He makes us laugh every single day, and I personally am enjoying this season of life more than any other chapter of life. And I just am so grateful every day that I get to be his mama and that Dave and I get to do this together and that it has only made our relationship better, which is crazy.
Like, you'd think adding a kid into the mix. And I know people listen and they'll say, you just wait until you just. But people said that when we were bringing Freddie into the world. Oh, well, it's only downhill from here. And la la, you won't sleep. I had messages from people saying, prepare for pure exhaustion and all this stuff. And what you realize is they're projecting their experience on you, which is totally okay because everybody's entitled to their experience, but, um, I don't know, I just think it's important to, like, really sink into, this is your experience. It could be completely different than everyone else.
And, you know, for me, I decided to go back to work after about a month. I started taking clients when Freddie was about a month old. And so, anyways, I'm back to work. I'm working about 15 hours a week. Do I feel mom guilt? Yes, I do. Do I feel weird that my aunts and my cousins are coming over my mother in law to help out while I go to the basement and talk about marketing? Of course I do. Like, there's a part of me that's like, I don't know that I'm making the right decision. But then 99% of me is like, I love my work.
And stepping away for 3 hours means that when I am back with freddie, I feel very in it. Like, I want to be present with him versus trying to do all the things and be distracted. So I feel really good about my decision to be back part time, especially because I can work from home. I feel like that is the perfect balance for me that I can run upstairs or be really close. Although, of course, I miss him. And of course, I feel that little bit of sadness that I'm calling family over to hang out, and I'm not there to hang out. So I'm sure some of you have gone through this, and if you have, send me a message. But I'd say overall, like, I'm feeling so clear and so in my power and so confident as a mama.
I don't know if becoming a parent just does that to you. Like, you become so specific with your time and your decisions, and when things are not a hell yes, it is kind of a no. Even Dave was saying to me the other day, oh, like, I got asked to do this thing with this group of people, and I could just tell. I was like, that's not a hell yeah for you, because it's pulling you away from me and Freddie. And he was like, you're right. Like, I don't want to be there at all. And I'm like, you have such limited time being out of the house, working a full time job, and commuting each way. The last thing you need to do is make these half assed decisions.
And so we kind of become, or both of us, in our case, have become just a little more confident in our nose or confident in letting people down. But in that, too, I also feel like I've just become a more confident person. For example, today I was at the orthodontist, and I thought I had booked myself an appointment to get my permanent wire glued on, because last time I went to the dentist, she did the scraping thing, and I got the whole, like, checkup, and that was all well and good, but then I left, and my wire was, like, really sharp. And this is the wire that they put on after a retainer. And so I left, and then a couple weeks later, I'm like, oh, my God. I've cut my tongue on this wire multiple times. It's really sharp, really pointy, ever since I got my cleaning at the dentist. So I called back, and I was like, hey, I think I need to see your orthodontist or someone to re glue this wire.
And so they're like, yep, we'll book you in for April 25 at 09:30 a.m. All good. So I go this morning, and they're like, welcome to your consultation. Da da da. Like, this is just a chat about our plan of action. And I'm like, plan of action? Like, I just need you to, like, dab a little bit of glue on and get me out of here. And I'm with Freddie, so I've, like, you know, brought my little babe to the dentist. And they're like, oh, no, no, sorry.
This is just a chat. And by the way, there's going to be a $60 charge for this. And I was like, okay, like, I understand a fee for a consultation, no problem. But, like, I know what the problem is. And I don't want to sound so assertive because it's not like I'm more knowledgeable than the orthodontist, but I just need you to reglue the wire. This has happened to me before, and then they're kind of going on and on. Well, we don't know, and we're not sure. This is just a chat.
And I felt like in that moment, I was like, I could just say, it's all good, but I've gotten myself here. I have my baby here, who's only going to last another half an hour before. Obviously, he needs attention. And I'm like, no, we need to do this now because I've already waited. They had to book me out like, a month and a half in advance for this consultation. All this to say, I was just like, no, I need to speak my mind and be like, can you just bring in the orthodontist? And like, do you have any time to do it today? And they're like, oh, well, we'll see. And I'm just being very kind. And eventually they're like, yeah, okay, so we're not going to charge you for the consultation, and we can do it in 45 minutes.
And I was like, okay. That's what I thought was going to happen. But I feel like the previous version of me might have been like, okay, let's just go with whatever they're saying. But anyways, being decisive is definitely something I've learned, being in that hell yeah energy. And if things are not a hell yeah, you won't see me there and just, like, keeping my brain as sharp as possible. But I guess, like, all that being said, I also feel like motherhood changes your brain. Someone said, like, the gray matter in your brain actually shifts. So much as I'm trying to get outside every day, do things for my mental health, eat really well, take my supplements, drink water, like, really just stay in tune with things because I know this season is very demanding, and especially working on top of that is like a whole other thing.
But I'll have these reminders every once in a while of like, oh, yeah, like, you're balancing a lot. So I was at the grocery store the other day, and, you know when you, like, are pretty much done your shop, and then you decide to just run back into an aisle. So I left my cart at the end of an aisle, and I ran in. I think I was getting coconut sugar and something else from the baking aisle. And so I run and grab what I need, and I'm kind of, like, looking for. Oh, I was looking for almond flour, and I couldn't find it. And I was there for a few minutes looking at the shelf, and I was like, okay, they just don't have it. So I had the coconut sugar in my hand, and I, like, walked back to my cart and put it there.
And then I got distracted. I was looking at the spices, and I knew I needed kosher salt for my baking. And so I'm, like, getting the kosher salt, and then I turn around and put it in the cart, and then I kind of, like, look up, grab the cart, and start walking it away. And then all of a sudden, I, like, look back. Cause I feel a man watching me, and he's like, are you gonna take that? And I was already pushing it down the aisle, and I was like, what? Like, this is my stuff. And I look down, and there's a few items in the cart. I had 100 items in my cart. This guy had, like, four.
None of them are mine. Like, they're things that I'm like, wait, I don't know that this is. I had been loading his cart, and then I pushed his cart away, and he just stood there kind of looking like, what are you doing? But I was so just in the zone, like, just populating my cart, trying to be super mom, doing her grocery shop. And, yeah, then I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm completely out of it right now. And we had a good laugh, and I gave him his cart back. So, anyways, that's how I'm doing. That's how things are going.
You know, it's just funny. I feel like when you're open to real life experiences, you're gonna just, like, get all sorts of fun and ridiculousness out of life. Like, every time I leave the house these days, I feel like there's a story to tell. So last week or. Okay, most days, I go on a hike. Right now, I'm not hiking because I effed up my back, but that's a story for another day. But usually I would strap Freddie onto my chest in the ergo baby. And I would grab Abby and then I start doing my 1 hour loop around the neighbor or around the.
I go up the hill, and then I go into the bush behind my house. So last week, I meet this guy named Clarence, and I forget how we started chatting. He just, like, was the cutest little 90 year old walking down the hill. And we stopped. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and we start chatting. I chatted with Clarence for about 25 minutes before I was like, okay, like, I really gotta go. But I truly think I learned more from Clarence in a 25 minutes conversation than I've learned from anyone in a long time. So I get chatting with this guy.
He's grown up in Paris. He's got four kids, and he tells me all about them, and he starts dropping these, like, incredible nuggets. Like, number one, he's like, I've always loved traveling, and I travel all over the world, and seeing the world is, like, so expansive. And I'm like, okay, there's a golden nugget. He goes on to talk about how every single morning he wakes up and he lives up the hill, and his wife of, like, 55 years or something like that, 60 years, is in the retirement home. And he goes on to say that every single morning, he walks 1 hour to go see, see her at the retirement home. And then from the retirement home, he'll go walk to Tim Hortons, which is another 20 minutes away. And then he walks an hour and 20 minutes to get home.
That's his morning adventure. I don't know if this guy sleeps. So he's already walked about over two, two and a half hours at this point. And then in the afternoon, he walks half an hour to get to the LcBo, goes and gets himself a beer, and then walks 30 minutes back to his house at the top of the hill. So I'm like, okay, there's a golden nugget. This guy is walking probably minimum, three to 4 hours a day. Side note, I bumped into him again today, and we just, like, chatted and we're laughing, and he's like, I'm gonna stop by for a beer sometime. I think one of the other lessons I learned is like, you're never too old to just, like, grab a Coors light from the LCBO and go sit and enjoy really good conversation with people who live in your community.
I mean, what else did we talk about? He used to volunteer for meals on wheels. So I was like, oh, the importance of volunteering, the love he had for his wife, and the fact that he goes and spends time with her every single day. At the retirement home. I don't know. This guy was just an absolute legend. And then when I bumped into him today, it was just like, he feels like a close friend now. He's like, oh, I remember I bumped into you. He's like, I walked by your house the other day.
I was gonna knock, but I didn't know if you'd want to talk to me and all this stuff. And he's recapping. And one thing that I really notice about Clarence is he always says, look around us. We are so lucky. Look how grateful are we to live in this town. How lucky. Oh, my gosh. You have a nice dog.
You have a nice son. We are so lucky. He's like, and then he always says, I have lived a great life. I have lived a really great life. I am very like, he's just living in the positive, and he is constantly looking around him and just saying, look at what we have. There's nature, there's sunshine, there's a river. And we've got good conversation here. So shout out to Clarence, my new friend.
I absolutely love his vibe. He is the cutest, has, like, the sweetest little pair of dentures in and is just such a firecracker. And I love the fact that he's just, like, walking up hills all day. It's inspiring. Speaking of inspiring, I also want to recap something that happened last Friday. So on April 19, Emily and I actually hosted a really fun in person meetup in Puss, Lynch Lake, Ontario. So Emily and I, we run the wave mastermind together. Side note, if you're interested in trying us out, send me a DM with the word mastermind.
We run this mastermind, and it is all about getting female entrepreneurs together who are committed and driven and just value growth, but also value their health and well being and who aren't afraid to slip out to a yoga class while also reaching for a $500,000 launch goal. Who want to bake their sourdough and be in the kitchen with their kids, but also step into podcast recording mode and create content and just kick ass in the business world as well. And so we decided to invite 13 women to a little market where there's amazing coffee and super high quality food and just, like, the cutest atmosphere. And we hosted a meetup. So we put the invite out there. We hand selected these people, and everyone was kind of in the service industry business. We had naturopathic doctors, we had psychotherapists. We had a real estate agent there.
We had a lawyer there. We had an app developer there. We had a holistic health coach there. We had a beekeeper there. We had a photographer there. We had a Google Ads specialist there. You know, you name it, we had a lot of different amazing, amazing women there. And it's so funny because I was chatting with one of the attendees, Lisa.
Shout out to you, Lisa. And we were saying, oh, my gosh, like, we woke up this morning and one of our first thoughts was like, oh, I don't feel like socializing today. And, oh, like, think of all the work it's gonna take to, you know, get to this event. And for me and Emily, it was like organizing and making sure, you know, everything's set up, and we have the right print materials, and we've got a plan for the day and for the attendees. I know some of us were laughing of like, oh, I have to go meet people. I have to go to this cute little market, and it would be easier to just stay at home, right? And it's just so funny how our brains can sabotage us. Like, at the end of this two hour event, people were glowing and glistening. It was like the most incredibly powerful 2 hours that I've had in months.
Like, the atmosphere, the good food, the connection. We hosted such a fun event. Like, we had mix and mingle time. Initially, everyone grabbed coffees and kombuchas and whatever they wanted, hot tea. And then we started with, like, an opening question, and everyone got to introduce themselves, and we were all just, like, loving on each other and saying, oh, my God, I have clients for you. And then we actually did some deep dives where people presented a current challenge that they were working on in their business and just masterminded and brainstormed and shared resources. And then at the end, it was like, oh, my God, we all need to connect on Instagram. So we created an Instagram group, and the cool thing was everyone was from probably an hour radius within the market.
And it makes me realize there are so many types of ways to build community. And I don't mean build community as in, like, find clients, because Emily and I did this because we truly see the magic in getting women together. Period. Full stop. That's it. I've been hosting retreats and workshops for the last six years, seven years. And even before that, like, I hosted spin classes, and I used to teach goal setting and vision boarding workshops in Toronto. And that has always filled a spot in my heart.
And I know that it is part of my purpose here is to gather people together and to not be afraid to be the one to put the invite out there. Like, last year at this time, I think it was May 4. I said, hey, community, if anyone wants, let's meet up at this restaurant in Hamilton, Ontario, and I'm gonna buy lunch for everybody. And let's just gather and chat about our goals and what we're up to and do some fun activities together, because we're like minded, we're entrepreneurs. We're all going through the same thing, and it's really powerful to get us all in one room. So that's what we did at Little Lake market. And I must say, it was so freaking awesome. And they say that if you can't find what you seek in this world to create it.
For me, I don't seek traditional networking events. I seek these cozy meetups where there's a good vibe. It's at a cool venue where I can get myself a really nice latte with almond milk. And that's exactly what we did. And so there'll definitely be a lot more of those coming up. We might do two or three every year. So if you are interested in attending one, these are in Puss, Lynch Lake, or Cambridge, Galt, Ontario. So if you're anywhere near that and you would like to come to the next one because you're curious, what is this whole community that Kelsey and Emily are creating? What is wave, the mastermind? All that? Just dm me the word meetup, and I will send you the date of our next one.
We actually have two more dates coming up in 2024, so that was really fun. And it just reminded me of how powerful it is to gather in person. And actually, there's two books I would recommend. If you're somebody who loves thinking about the art of gathering. I know. For me, I've always loved hosting parties. Like, even when I was planning my wedding, people would say, aren't you stressed out? And I'm like, no. This is like a dream come true for me.
I love planning. I love thinking about, what's the food? What's the atmosphere? Do I need signage? What table should I put people at? Like, I find that very joyful. And so two books that have helped me to further expand on that passion are, number one, a book called the two hour cocktail party by Nick Gray. And the other one is called Gather. And I believe her name, the author is Priya Parker. Don't quote me on that, but I believe her name is Priya. And both of those books are just helpful. And how do you create meaningful and memorable gatherings? So that's that.
Aside from that, you know what? I don't know where this update is going, but life has been pretty good. I'm on a slow week because I take clients on alternating weeks for the most part. So next week, I'm seeing all ten of my private clients. And then this week has been a little more mellow, which is really cool. Had wave, our mastermind on Wednesday, our weekly Wednesday crew. And so that has meant there's been lots of time for meandering walks. Because I hurt my back, I'm not using the carrier, which means I can't go hiking. So I've been doing a lot of stroller walks with Freddie and with Abby, and I've been enjoying it.
I've been, like, admiring old homes in my town. I'm walking up all the quirky streets, where it is, like, the complete opposite of a cookie cutter neighborhood. And some of these homes are heritage. They're over 100 years old. They have the weirdest lots. And I love just walking by really slowly. I think hurting your back makes you slow down. And I feel like there's a deeper meaning to why I pulled my back muscle.
And that is in the meaning is, Kelsey, you need to slow down. You need to remind yourself that, like, just because you're four months into motherhood doesn't mean you need to be 100% back to the pace of life before having Freddie. So, anyways, here I am, still trying to get out for walks because I can't sit still, and I don't want to sit still, but I'm doing, like, light stroller walks where I'm literally walking at snail pace, and I'm actually just stopping to talk with everybody. So I saw this couple, and they were unloading groceries on this gorgeous, gorgeous street in the town where I live. And they were not interested in necessarily chatting with me, but I decided to stop and take it upon myself to just ask them a question about their house. And then we got chatting, and then their dog ran out, and their dog's name was Gordon, and Gordon's the name of my grandpa and also the name of one of my nephews. And so we got chatting about that, and then I was talking to them about Freddie, and then we were talking about how this town is changing. And I always love hearing the perspectives of people who have grown up in this small town, and it's growing, and what do they think? And I don't know.
It was just a very pleasant conversation. And then I kept on meandering, and I ended up bumping into Clarence, which was really awesome. And I just listened to podcasts and I think, and I if Freddie's awake, I just kind of, like, stare at him and make him laugh. And yeah, today I listened to a new podcast, actually called Business Untitled, and they had an episode with John Foley, who I admire. He's the founder of Peloton, and he kind of just shared a little bit more about his journey. And, yeah, I'll link that episode in the show notes if that sounds interesting to you. So that's it for today. That's my meandering update on what's been going on.
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Mentioned on the Episode:
The Mastermind by The Visionary Method™ and The Magnetic Life™: Join an intimate business mastermind for women who are running online service-based businesses, and who are looking to plug into a community of other powerful leaders who are ready to grow in their health, wealth & relationships. Hosted by Emily Elliot (Mindset & Success Coach) and Kelsey Reidl (Marketing Consultant).
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