287 How to HEAL your Inner Child and Become a Better Entrepreneur
Registered Clinical and Counselling Psychologist
Julia Sen
Dr. Julia Sen is a Registered Clinical and Counselling Psychologist in Ontario with over twenty years of experience compassionately working with adult individuals, couples, and groups on their journey to healing and growth.
Dr. Sen believes that psychotherapy is based on providing a warm, safe and supportive environment where clients feel comfortable expressing their emotions and needs (what happens when we don’t express).
With a special interest in parenting, fertility, and inner child work, Dr. Sen believes that anything is possible. Known as the Possibility Psychologist™, Dr. Sen is on a mission to awaken the possibility within each of us.
In this episode, we chat about:
Why you decided to become a Registered Clinical and Counselling Psychologist?
What does possibility mean to you? Why is this word SO important to Entrepreneurs?
Self Care, Inner Child Work and Navigating Heavy Feelings.
Tips for dealing with these feelings in the moment
Inner Child Work and why could this be an area that entrepreneurs would want to work with you on...
What are some of the outcomes of healing our inner child?
Self sacrifice VS. self-care (a change of trend)
To connect with Julia:
Access the transcript for this episode:
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You're listening to the visionary life podcast. I'm your host, Kelsey Reidl.
Each week, I'll bring you conversations with the most visionary humans on this earth, in hopes that you'll be able to absorb their wisdom, avoid their failures and feel less alone on the roller coaster ride that is entrepreneurship. This season, I'll be chatting with creative thinkers, masterful marketers, brick and mortar shop owners, brand builders and people just like you who have a story to share or a vision that inspires if I can share one quick secret with you before we get into the episode. It's that we all have a little bit of visionary inside of us, you know, that spark that nudges us to pursue our full potential in this lifetime, but perhaps somewhere along the line, it got covered up. I'm here to tell you that it's never too late to explore that inner voice and access the brilliance deep down inside of you. It's in you. It's in all of us. Let's dive in.
Hey visionaries. Welcome back to the show. Today on the pod I am talking with Dr. Julia Sen. Dr. Julia is a registered clinical and counseling psychologist in Ontario, with over 20 years of experience compassionately working with adult individuals, couples and groups who are on their journey to healing and growth.
And she has some really unique specialties as well, including inner child healing and working with fertility clients and people who are new parents. And Dr. Sen believes that psychotherapy is based on providing a warm, safe and supportive environments where clients feel comfortable expressing their emotions and needs. Isn't that amazing? Right?
So she also is the possibility psychologist so I dive into how Dr. Julia became the possibility psychologist what her background is, and really how she took a traditional practice seeing clients one to one, and has transformed it into an online business with multiple group programs with a lot of online content being shared. And she's actually gotten away from the one on one model because it's no longer efficient for her to serve. So we talk about the behind the scenes of the business I also asked her about inner child work and how to deal with heavy feelings as an entrepreneur how to navigate feeling stuck, and we get into a little bit of what her next passion project is. So I think you're gonna love this episode definitely go check out Dr. Julia son's work. And as always, if you enjoy this episode, gosh, the best thing for you to do if you're on Spotify or Apple if you could just take a pause and hit that five star review. Or what's even beneficial to is to screenshot this episode and maybe just share it on your IG stories or on your Tik Tok.
Anything you guys do to shout out the show is so valuable. And that's how I've been able to bring you over 250 episodes with the most inspiring entrepreneurs on this planet. And I hope that you are loving the content. So I am excited. I hope you're excited. And as always, if there's any way that I can support you in scaling your business and implementing a foolproof marketing strategy, don't hesitate to reach out. And let's dive right into this episode with Dr. Julia. Dr. jeulia Welcome to the visionary life podcast. I am so excited to have you here. We've known each other for at least a few years now. And it's always been in the back of my mind. I've never had a psychologist on the show before so I cannot wait to sit down to learn about your brilliance and hear the full backstory. So thank you so much for being here.
Wow, you've never had a psychologist. That's so cool. Oh, I got in 250episodes your first so I'm going to rock the show today. I'm wondering in a few short sentences. Can you explain why you decided to become a registered clinical and counseling psychologist?
Yeah, it's funny. I actually did an undergrad in an entirely different field. Yeah, it was labor management relations. Oh my god. Yeah, totally different. Right. I graduated, tried to work in the field really said oh, wow, this is not for me. And I was like stumped. So to my dad. I'm like, I don't know what to do. Like I just graduated and kind of wasted four years and you know what now so I was actually gonna laugh at this but I was experimenting with different exams.
So the GRE the GMAT, the LSAT, I didn't bother With the MCAT, that's a bit too intense but, and I was like, let's see if I'm gonna throw the dice and see if one of those kind of gets me like a super high score that I'll go into something related to that. Anyway, I'm studying for the GMAT, I decided to take a course in it. And I was sitting with a person who was studying with me, we went downstairs for lunch. And she's just pouring her heart out to me. And and then says, What are you doing here? Like, what do you mean? She's like, you need to be a psychologist, not going to like an MBA. And I'm like, What do you mean? And she's like, you just profoundly changed my world. Right? And I'm like, what? Okay, yeah. Like, I just wasn't comprehending, and she's like, she's like, you don't really made a difference. And I said, but you're a friend of mine. And she's like, I am not your friend. You just met me today. Right? And I'm like, Oh, yeah.Oh, my gosh, what did you do to change her life in a conversation?
I mean, to be honest, like it was so long ago. Now, I can't remember what was the content, but it was an interpersonal one about a relationship. I know that and I guess the angle I took to it, just kind of like blew her mind. And then she realized what she was doing and the pattern she was having. And so that just changed things for her. And we continue to be friends, of course, but like, for me, that was like the pivotal moment of, but I just kind of like do that with friends. We just we talk and they share and I share and like that's, you know, isn't that normal? You know? So she's like, No, no, it's not like you did something different. I'm like, okay, and I'll look into it. So when I went to my dad, do you know anybody in the field because my dad's a prof at U of T, in Pharmacology at the time, like, you know, anybody in like psychology, because I kind of want to work in the field a little bit before another undergrad? Yeah, it's so he did, he connected me with what was the addiction Research Foundation at the time, which is now CAMH. And I got a summer job, loved it, just loved it. And I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna go to, to do psychology and, and then it was just a matter of like getting the courses I needed at the Masters. And then the PhD, like, it was like a done deal. I was going to be a full licensed psychologist. So very cool. I think you share some really important messages within that story to number one.
Oftentimes, it is people outside of ourselves that can show us what our unique brilliance is, like, we were walking around all day.
And we're like, Oh, I'm not that great. I'm not good at anything. But sometimes it's when somebody stops us and says, Oh, my God, you are so such a good listener, or you helped me get through that breakup. And it was because of the way you communicated this concept. And sometimes we just don't see the obvious.
So for anyone listening, who's like, I just don't know what I'm good at, ask some friends, or just notice patterns in conversations or what types of issues people come to you for. And you might identify something that you are uniquely good at that maybe not everybody possesses.Quarterly. I love that. I love that. Yeah.
And another part that you mentioned, too, is like you did a full undergrad and then decided to switch. I think a lot of people, they just think, well, this is my destiny. I'm just trapped in this career that I really don't want to be in.
However, it's so important to realize that, like, what is life if you feel locked in a job in your 20s, right? If you're like, Well, I spent four years I spent all this money, so I'm just gonna succumb to this for the next 40 or 50 years of my life. It's like, no, get back out there and find that thing that really lights you up. And don't be afraid to chase it, because it's not too late.Exactly, exactly. That is a huge message. That's so important. Yeah.
So can you share a bit more about how your practice has evolved over the past 20 years? I know, you're quite entrepreneurial today. And you have online programs, group programs, but I'm assuming you started with more of like a traditional one on one model. So I would just love to hear a bit about the evolution.
Yeah, totally. So when I, when I begin practicing, you know, starts with internships and things like that. Absolutely. The only model there was was one on one really, at that at that level, right? So you kind of just you continue doing what you were introduced to, right and so when I got my license, I was asked by a friend of mine to fill a void in the fertility world. So counseling for fertility because it's such a traumatic area of loss and everything. So the one on one started there and it was kind of one on two because I owed also Working couples right for that. And it was great. And it, you know, it was an area of the niche.
So that worked. And it feels quickly, right, I was one of the only psychologists in the field and other therapists and psychologists and because of my coverage, that was really helpful for people who are already spending 1000s and 1000s of dollars on their fertility treatment, to have support that's covered. So it quickly filled, you know, and, and that was great. And I was like, Okay, this is awesome. Like, I'm helping, you know, in an area of need, and my practice is full.
Except that, you know, there's kind of a cap in terms of how many people I can serve. And I did that for like, 11 years straight. And then I started realizing that that's not gonna really work. It's not sustainable for me, and also just the impact they wanted to have. So I remember speaking with Nivas, who used to be an advisor, Habib, who I think, you know, and he used to be my chiropractor, and I was, and he moved, and then I was getting something and then I saw him on LinkedIn, I'm gonna go. So I connected with him. And he told me about a community of master mastermind community. And I joined that, and it was life changing. So the guidance I received, like, Could I say, the name of the, of course.Okay, so of ours, it was archangel, and the guidance I received from Giovanni was exceptional. So I presented him with this, this concept of my one on one model, that I have some ideas in terms of fertility, which had also by the way, morph to parenting. And, and I'm like, I have a book, but I don't know how to, like, pivot here, right and expand, I want to impact more people. And so he introduced me to the concept of a group. I thought a group before. And this was interesting, because I was getting stuck in the logistics. How am I going to open the door on a Saturday, it was, like things like that were like coming up. And anyway, the thing was, I joined Archangel during the pandemic. And so zoom, like this became the way. So he's like, you don't worry about opening doors, there's the additional up. So suddenly, the group model became like, really practical. And so I, I pursued that. And so that allowed me to then expand. Right?
And if you were talking to another psychologist or practicing health professional, who currently feel stuck in that one to one and just does not see how to get out of it, what advice might you offer? Now based on your own experience? Yeah, totally, totally. Creating these small groups, it's very intimate groups, right? I'm not into like the big mass groups or six people. And so what you're doing is converting your individual clients into those groups. But they're just shifting and seeing it from a new angle. The benefit is, there's several benefits, but one of them is that they're getting to learn from me still and process with me stills with safe and connect with other people who they know have also worked with me, which makes it another layer of safety. Right? So they're no they're walking in with like minded people. And when you do that advancement is like, like that, right? Because now that I'm just getting me, but they're getting them and each other. And that's a beautiful thing, and that you don't have market it because they're they're already your clients.
This is so brilliant, too, because I talk to a lot of practitioners who think oh, my gosh, I'm going to launch this group program. And I don't know where to find people. I'm like, Well, have you worked with any one on one clients? Because those should be the people who are the first in and I love that you share that. There is that added layer of safety because they're all your clients are existing clients. So that means you vetted them and you know that the group is going to work synergistically because I think the fear is oftentimes, will clients who are struggling with their health or well being or relationship will they want to be in a group environment. And sure, there are probably some services that just don't work as well. But you are an example of if you curate the group and you keep it cozy. It is so possible and maybe even a better experience to put these clients in a group where they feel less alone.
Totally, totally honored percent.
So you call yourself the possibility psychologist which I absolutely love. Can you tell us the origin story of how this title came to be?
Yes, for sure. So, my dear friend who I think you also know Vera Vera Marlon Gervais, she is the words lady and her. She just sat down with me one day, and we were talking and
hey, visionary, I want to quickly interrupt this episode to ask you, if you've been curious what it's like to work with a private business and marketing coach, if you're a business owner, and you feel like your marketing plan is all over the place, you haven't figured out your search engine optimization or your SEO strategy, you have no idea what your social media marketing plan is, and you are not doing so well, on the self Express content front. I call these the marketing trio. It's the three S's SEO social media self expressed content. And by dialing in all three of these pillars, you too, can get more visible, generate more income, and increase your lead generation where you're actually turning your followers into paid clients. And you're constantly bringing new people in at the top of the funnel. If you're not familiar with my work, I am a private business and marketing coach. And I have spent the last 13 years working in the marketing industry, many of those years doing consulting with clients like you who want to finally get more visible and get in front of their dream clients. So when we work together, you have me for four months, as your marketing partner, I'm going to do a full audit of your business, put you on a private project management software with me. And then based on your innate skill sets based on your strength, based on where you are curious and where your dream clients are paying attention. We're going to build out a custom marketing strategy, we're going to track it, we're going to optimize it. And by the end of the four months, you have a plan that works and you're seeing results. It's truly incredible. Christina crook just landed a $100,000 consulting contract after implementing just one of my marketing strategies. Emily Fraser signed multiple new clients in one day after just one month of working with me, and now she is having consistent five figure months. And Natasha, she started leveraging her email list in December, and 30 days later in January, she pulled in $25,000 from one single email that we created. So these results are possible for you too. But don't sign up yet. Just head to Kelsey rydel.com And check out how we can work together learn all about it, make sure you feel informed and if you'd like to book a discovery call with me just fill out the application on my website we can get on the phone and see if it's a good fit for you. So anyways, I don't want to interrupt this episode anymore I cannot wait to work with you to support you and getting you more visible and let's get back into the show.
She's just said psychologist is great in clinical and counseling psychologist explains who you are or registered psychologist. But what about right? Like, what what do you bring to the table that's unique to you? And from there is replete with some words and I'm like, Well, I'm kind of all about things being possible. Like I am a dreamer at heart a lot of people when I was a kid used to say don't be ridiculous, you know that kind of thing? Because I was always thinking up quote unquote crazy ideas you know, like out there and but it really actually like the honest truth is possibility for me came from loving Fonzie on Happy days. So his snap with your fingers and things happen. In my mind as a child became here, why not? Like, and it was grounded in reality like I know that that's not actually like you can't turn on a jukebox with your you know, with your hand. But there was just this like energy about him. That was like no, why not? Right? Yeah. And that became imprinted in me. So when Bureau was asking me I'm like, Yeah, I think anything's possible possibilities. With possibility psychologists. Oh, my. Oh, yeah. That feels so good.
I love it. And because we have mostly business owners listening to the show, I'm curious, why is the word possibility so important for entrepreneurs?
Yes, because we will hit so many different stuck points. Right? Because we're doing things differently. To me entrepreneur means we were doing things in creative ways that are different from the traditional road. Right? And in doing so, that means we don't have a traditional path that's already laid for us. Let's compare it to like an engineer who you go to school. Have you become an engineer, you know, you're going to an engineering job, you're good to go. So even a doctor, right, like there's, there's a path that's already been laid, but for entrepreneurs, like, what does that mean? And where's that? So it's full of possibility. But without the attitude of anything's possible, we can get stuck and sabotage ourselves.
Oh, my God, that's so good. I need to like re listen to that. And you're right. If we don't believe that anything is possible, we are blocking ourselves as business owners and as visionary entrepreneurs. And that's kind of the death of someone like us is to feel stuck, right. That's why we left a traditional structure in a job or in a career path was to explore possibility. So it's so important, I think, to reconnect with that word, and like what it means to us. And to remind ourselves, like you say, anything is possible. So it's like, we need to make sure that we're not dampening that belief, or downloading other people's programs that are telling us just stay where you are, like, you've done enough, you've accomplished enough or, you know, just be satisfied with what's in front of you. But it's like, but if I see possibility, like, aren't I allowed to chase it and continue dreaming of what this word could mean, for me in my business?
Totally, totally. I'm just gonna add a little bit to that. Because having the mindset tells you is really critical, obviously, but we sabotage ourselves to keep her safe. Right, like, the part that sabotaging is saying, I don't like you going off the traditional path is feeling really uncomfortable.
So I'm just gonna, like, shut you down. Right? And, and then we kind of fall into that. And that's where we get stuck. It's like, oh, I tried it. But I don't know, it was really not feeling right. So I just said, Skip it. Sometimes things don't feel right. Like when I went to the labor management job, right, and it was clear. But other times, you want to make sure you're actually soothing your fear, you're really acknowledging that that saboteur so that you can say, hey, I get you, thank you for showing up and trying to keep me alive and save.
And through a practice I created called the habit of heart, you can learn how to empathize and sue that part of you. So that you can then enter from a place of calm and really thinking through is this right for me or not, you know, because if I'm going from fear, I usually sabotage it. If I'm going from like, just push through and just do it, maybe it's not right for me, you know, and that's also very, very harmful to us to keep pushing through pushing through pushing through. So the the process of sort of soothing the system and learning how to validate that part of us without succumbing to it. That's the practice that I created so people can bridge that I want it. Yeah, you're right. Possibility makes sense. Yeah, dude, I sabotage it again. Right? Oh, why can I get it?
I don't want people to get more critical, because they can't stay in possibility to stay in possibility. That habit is really helpful. Well, I have s many questions on that. So number one, what are some of the ways that we can stay in possibility? Mm hmm.Yeah. So slowly building a resilience within ourselves. Right. And that, because I created this process, I'm just going to share my process.
I want to hear your stuff like this is wonderful.
Okay, cool. So the habit of heart is a process I developed based on all the clinical years of experience and my own self, right, keeping myself in the possibility. So what I noticed is, I'll just use an example of me, right? So public speaking is an area that's always been a very terrifying space, and like getting up on stage and really presenting.
And so when I want to do that, that's my next sort of thing. So I'm training, you know, and I'm training with Blake actually, and we are working towards developing the skill, right? But what I'm finding is there are moments when let's say, I'm speaking and someone says, Sorry, can you say that again? And then I go right back into my old See, you can't speak you mumble because that was a label that I received when I was a kid. As I see, you shouldn't be doing this stuff. So there was a pain inside of me. Right? That paying now instead of runaway and forget it, you're right, I shouldn't do this. That paying now is a cue to me to start the habit of hurt and that means I put my handle on my heart. I drop my shoulders. I take a deep breath in. And I breathe in that part of me that scared.
That's, that's like, No, you mumble. We don't want to put ourselves out there and be criticized, like, Please stop, right? I bring her in and I talked to her. And I let her know I get scared. This is how scary this is. Right? And yeah, I did mumble a bit there. And in spite of that, we're still okay, I've got you. Right, we're an adult. Now we can handle this. Now. That's a very basic way of explaining it. But it's all based in attachment and belonging. Right? Because we sabotage ourselves when we don't feel like we're going to belong. So you're going to put yourself on stage, people gonna make fun of you now you're not gonna have belonging, right. That's the threat. And our attachment to like, secure attachment, which is where I know I can soothe myself, I can see myself and feel safe. And that's from Dan Siegel. Yeah. So good. Is the habit apart something that people can self teach? Like, is this a course that you've created? Or did I have to work with you through a live coaching program?So there's both so I have it on YouTube already. It's a high level version, meaning it's not situation specific. But it's a building trust with the parts of us that are feeling those pings, right, feeling those insecurities. And when we do that was trying to build trust within ourselves.
Right? So that part of us like, No, I show up for you each time. Right? And slowly we build that relationship with us rather than it being Hey, Kelsey, I depend on you to make me feel better. Yeah, right. It's so that's available on YouTube, and people practicing it are finding it very helpful, but it's high level. If you want to go deeper in that I have courses that it's called awakening the wisdom within and it's about connecting with our inner child. And I'll take you through like levels of shame and guilt and grief and anger. And situationally teach you like words to help you empathize with that part and guide you forward. So they feel safe. So because that's a little more in depth, right, it is through the coursework, but one could still figure it out for themselves. It depends how savvy you are, in terms of, you know, awareness of self.I want to keep going on this topic of those moments as business owners or just as humans on this earth when we feel stuck. Or when we're kind of encountering just like this block. I know something else that you talk about is inner child work. So I'm curious, can you first explain what is inner child work to somebody who's never heard of it? They've never even considered how that could be sabotaging. Maybe something that's a goal or a dream of theirs?
100%? Yeah. So there are when we are, let's say an unrelated, but let's say you and I are talking, right? And let's say you say something to me, and I get a little bit like, Oh, that felt like a little bit critical or a little bit. That's not adult me. Right? The fear that kicks in that yuck factor is the little kid. Right? So maybe it's eight year old me maybe it's six year old me, it doesn't really matter. But as young me, and that young me is saying, if someone doesn't like me, I might be kicked out. Right. And if I'm kicked out, I'm gonna die is literally that part is saying because as a child, we need to be part of a tribe, a family, you know, in order to survive. That's just the truth, a six year old, you can't send them around the world, and then they're not going to do so well, right? They need the approval and the safety of a family. So when there's a threat, that part of us gets activated. So today's threat activates a young part of us that makes sense.
It absolutely makes sense. So Why might it be important for somebody who's building a business especially in the online space when they're getting really visible, maybe more visible than they ever been before? Why might it be of interest for them to heal or work on their inner child?
Totally totally. So for some it may be that they're very securely attached and they feel solid in it. They feel resilient, courageous, confident already. So for them, you don't have to You're gonna keep expanding keep having fun, keep you know, keep diving into new things. For for if you find yourself though, knowing you want to and I am just delaying it, or coming up with reasons why today is just not possible because you know, I got a million bills to pay and I've got like, we come up with lots of great reasons. tends to not do things. That becomes a pattern. Right? And we've started to become aware of that. So that's one reason why we want to go okay, what am I doing? Right? And why is this happening?
Because I know my goal, and yet it's getting further and further away instead of sticking to my, you know, timelines. Right. And we can justify it Kelsey, like, especially when it's productive, I call it productive busying, right? It's just like, I got this, I got this, I got this, I got that. And it's really valid, right, and I justify why I need to get that done first. But that could be your inner child, saying, I really want to go there. This is scary. So we want to really acknowledge that.Absolutely. Yeah. So important. I know, something else you talk about as a tool, whether it be for entrepreneurs, or individuals is learning to deal with a feeling of heaviness. And I feel like business owners especially are no stranger to that feeling. Because business ebbs and flows, we have seasons that are full of wins and successes. But then we also go through seasons, whether it be a month or a week, or even just a few days, where we just have this unexplained heaviness. It's like we wake up and it's just like, things aren't working, or there's friction in the business, or there's a failed launch, or I got a rejection from a client. So I'm curious, do you have any tips for someone who is currently experiencing that feeling of heaviness? And maybe they don't know what to do with it? Or how to move through it?
Totally, totally. So there's different sort of elements of heaviness was just like one heaviness is sort of exhaustion. And I haven't really taken time for me, right where I've just been pushing through and pushing through, and I have to prove myself, right. And it's kind of a struggle, through it all. That heaviness is just complete exhaustion. And to me, that's, that's acute of me. I need rest. Right, it's time to pause. Nothing bad's gonna happen if I pause, right, you know, and that's critical. The heaviness that could come from probably call it more like an anxiety from rejection or something like that, is, is different. And that's where I would put in like the habit of heart to soothe that part to say, I get why that would feel horrible. If somebody just rejected you, you really were excited about it. And, you know, we're still safe. We're still okay, right? That was hard. And we're still okay. Right? It's an empathy in fact, kind of dialogue with breathwork right with putting your hand on the heart we want to bring all Mind Body Soul the whole thing into the practice. And, and that will help you then sue that to then decide again, do I want to pursue this? Or do I you know, it's not really the right thing for me. Right? It gives you some clarity on where to go next, once I've seen with my system, or nervous system needs to be calm, or real decisions can't be made.
Hey, visionaries, are you an entrepreneur that started your business to feel the freedom that it can bring? I know, that's certainly one of the reasons the main drivers actually why I decided to take the leap, leave my corporate marketing management job and to start the visionary brand. So we start the business, we crave the freedom, but then we kind of get bogged down in things like too much responsibility, and we have decision paralysis. And it's really challenging to figure out where to put your time and energy and how to not stay up all night, worrying about your marketing, worrying about whether this business is ever going to feel easy and take off. Well, what if we told you that you could enrich your weeks and your days with a community of devoted passionate, impact driven and health and lifestyle anchored entrepreneurs, like you don't want to just build a massive company that supports you financially and that supports your well being. You also want to do it in a way that supports being your best self feeling healthy being around people who are like minded with shared values. I know for me that eating well and making sure I'm accountable to my workouts and being around amazing, driven positive women who lift me up and cheer me on rather than bring me backwards. It has been essential to my success. Over the last seven years I've gone through phases where I felt lonely and disconnected. And I can tell you that those have been the worst months in my business. So that's where we want to talk about the mastermind presented by the visionary method and the magnetic life. So my business partner, Emily Elliot is a certified mindset and success coach, and myself being a professional marketing coach, we've collaborated, and we've created what we believe is the top mastermind for female entrepreneurs like yourself, if you are feeling a strong call for connection, and you want accountability to get through your launches, and to make sure your marketing plan is on track, and you want a space to ask questions about hiring virtual assistants, and knowing when the right time is to launch that next offer versus scale your existing one, you're definitely going to want to be part of this group, it is weekly elevation, we are calling you forward to your highest version of your CEO self. But we're also going to be there for you through the lows and the challenges. Maybe you're a new mom, maybe you are going through some sort of relationship struggles, you know, this is a place to be your full self. We are not just entrepreneurs in silos who just work like workhorses all day, we have stuff going on. And let's make a space where that's accepted. And let's make a space where we challenge each other, to be better both in and outside of our office. If you are interested in applying this as a very intimate small group, head to Kelseyreidl/mastermind. Or you can just head to Kelsey rattle.com and click the coaching drop down, we would love to have you apply, I'll jump on a call with you give you the full overview of what this space is like we meet every single week, and we cannot wait to see your application come through.
Is that answer the question enough?
It absolutely does. So for somebody who has never done self talk, say like they're a hustler there Go go go. They never give themselves a few minutes to self soothe, to have inner or just dialogue with themselves. Whether that's like, you know, actually speaking or just kind of conversing with yourself. And like thinking of what's going on and asking yourself these questions that may elicit a response. Any tips for somebody who's like, this sounds crazy. I've never done self talk or self soothing. Where do they begin? Because we've never touched on this on the podcast before.
Yeah. So they have to be willing to be curious, at least, about what we just talked about. Yeah, yes. If they're going to be like, Yeah, you know, that sounds like way too much. And no, there's no way and I have way too much to do. And it's just not possible, right? There's no room for no time for that it becomes dismissed. I'm not going to try and convince you like there's no, there's nothing to tell that person because they're sort of, they're locked in it because they have reasons. Yeah, right. There's no judgement. They have their reasons. There is a very strong part of them that feels it needs to be protected. And that's okay. Right. But if you're like, Well, okay, yeah, you know, you're right. I do feel like I'm kind of like burning out all the time or feeling that heaviness constantly, right, that exhaustion, and maybe I could slow down and like listen to what, then it is about mindfulness to start, right. But I would start with like breath, like just a slow, deep breath. Right and noticing what that feels like to just put your hand on your heart, drop your shoulders and do a five second inhale, five second exhale. And has your mind raced away? Is it like completely still going, then do it a few more times, right? Just bring it back to notice that like the sensation of your hand on your heart, like just Rayovac to the moment and let the chatter go on. Right? But it's slowly training the brain that Yeah, but I'm here right now. I noticed like X, Y and Zed to do and all these things that have to happen and, and I'm here right now. So mindfulness training through breath is the best place to start.
So many good tips. Is there anything any other tool that we haven't mentioned yet that you find? Talk about? You're talking to, to all your clients, you're constantly recommending something or a practice or a ritual? Something that we haven't yet discussed that you want to share?
Yeah, comedy. Oh,
my God, I totally didn't expect you to say that.
Chords are very zen, ya know, comedy to me is the is the way to kind of just jolt us out of whatever we're spinning in or stuck in. It just lightens everything up. Right. It's a really an under you utilize tulle. And honestly like with my fertility clients, for example, like we're constantly like throwing YouTube, like find funny, Puppy videos like something like like something silly and funny and just watch a one minute clip, I don't need you to watch a whole set calm or it's just, we're just moving it out of that state. Right? And so comedy is amazing. Even just smiling. It's amazing.
Yeah, and change your whole state. And you're right, I love putting on, like, I'll do a comedy special on Netflix. And yeah, it's a little longer, but I might only watch 10 minutes. And I noticed how my state changes. And it's just like, my energy is shifted immediately. And if you can go to live comedy, or laugh with friends at a restaurant like that is next level as well. The ability to just completely shake things up inside of
you. Exactly, exactly. So as
business owner, we're always needing to level up our own skills, solve problems for ourselves and our businesses. So I am curious, is there a block that you're currently navigating yourself or a skill set that you're currently trying to upgrade that you would like to share with us?
Yeah, I alluded to it before so public speaking, but on like a stage with many people. The Zoom was not so hard for me. But standing on a stage actually in front of people is is another ballgame for me. So yes. So I am working on that. And as I work on it, and I feel that pain, I use that bit of hard to soothe and comfort. That part, reminding me that I'm still safe. Like, it sounds silly, because you'll hear in the habit of hard on the YouTube videos. Like I've got you you're safe with me. But it's literally the little kid is in their attachment panic. They're not sure if they're safe. Right? It's the adults like, of course, it's like that's the problem. But this is this is not the thing we have to we have to bring that nurturing side to go. Yeah, that got activated. That's the cue, lemme soothing comfort. It only takes a minute. Right? Once they trust us, especially that part of us. And it's bring us back to safety. Right? Even if I get onstage, Kelsey and I flop, right? Like completely people like laughing at me, we're not in a good way. You know, people are like, What are you talking about? Ridiculous, like anything? Yeah, it'll feel overwhelming and terrible in the moment. Yeah. But I'm safe. I'm not I'm not dying. And I say that seriously? Yeah, our amygdala saying you're gonna die. You're dying. Right? And we're saying no, actually. We're not. It's Sox. Yes. And we're still safe. So I wanted to emphasize that part. It seems like we know, we're safe. But we don't. When that part is activated, it thinks we're a little kid, and we're gonna be kicked out of our tribe, and then we're gonna be eaten by a tiger. Like, that's what happens in those moments. Yeah.
It's such an important conversation. Julia, if people want to learn more about your work, they want to work with you. I mean, obviously, we'll link the habit of heart on YouTube, but where are the best places for them to connect with you and to stay in touch?
Yeah, I mean, I have my YouTube channel. So that's just Dr. Julia Sen. I've got my instagram at Dr. Julia Sen. And I'm gonna tick tock with it's the same. And then for on my website, so just Dr. Julius n.com. My phone number is there, there's a contact sheet. I am not taking any more one, though. So, you know, there's some exceptions I'll make here and there if it's very specific, but generally speaking, I am not, there's not even a real waiting list anymore. I think it's really more about group. And I offer very different types of groups, we offer a newborn parent group, which means if you have a child under two, not just an infant, but under two, then there's a small group of six parents like who will come in for training on how to be self caring, and self aware parents so that we are actually creating a really positive impact on our children. And then that's creating their resilience and courage and confidence. So I'm actually doing a webinar on Tuesday about that, but and then there is a group for the inner child called awakening the wisdom within that under the belonging section on my website. So that's another program that runs and then I have a renewed Parent Program for ages like above two, basically, but not into the teen years teen years. I only do talks at schools. So yeah, so parenting. Fertility work is a specific thing. I do also know that I'm realizing I'm starting a new niche, which is parenting after infancy. Melody. And there's a whole other kind of pressure that parents are feeling because of their miracle baby. That's unrealistic and unhelpful, but very, very normal and common, but it's not good for them. Right? Because too much. So there's a parenting after your fertility niche. So I'm starting with a group, also
such important work that you're doing. And I would encourage anyone who resonates with any of those niches and groups that definitely check out your website and to inquire there. So Julia, thank you so much for sharing your business background, your wisdom around self care tools, inner child all the good stuff the habit apart. So we thank you for being here and wish you all the best on your journey.
Thank you, Kelsey. This was awesome. Thank you so much for having me.
Thanks for tuning in to this episode of visionary life. I love bringing you these conversations on a weekly basis. So it would mean so much to me. If you could help me out by rating and reviewing the show on either iTunes or Spotify. It just takes a second. And if you don't want to rate the show, you could also just take a screenshot of the episode and share it on your social media platform of choice tagging me at Kelsey Reidl. I'll catch you in the next episode.
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